


Gift Giving Pains

by ruff_ethereal



Category: Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero
Genre: Birthday Presents, Christmas, Gen, Mommy Sashi Returns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-11
Updated: 2015-12-11
Packaged: 2018-05-06 05:05:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5404106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruff_ethereal/pseuds/ruff_ethereal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Valerie's 10th birthday, and Sashi is getting her the perfect present whether she likes it or not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A Christmas (or as Boone would call it, Birthmas) special for the cast of "Love, Selfish Love," found here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/3725458
> 
> Be warned of OCs galore.

Valerie could see the trap from miles away, but she knew she had no choice but to walk straight into it.

The air was loaded with tension, the kind that always preceded a huge, spoon-incinerating fight between her and her mother, and from the fact alone that Sashi had chosen the kitchen as their location meant there would no escape, no excuse, no way to dodge and prolong it for as long as she possibly could.

It was morning, Valerie was hungry for her morning bowl of Flaming-O's, and Sashi was knowingly taking advantage of that.

She sat at the table and made it look like she was idly enjoying her morning coffee and reading the newspaper on her day off, but Valerie could see through the ruse; she was never really able to keep anything hidden or be subtle outside of combat and missions, especially when it concerned her.

Still, she acted as if she didn't know that Valerie was in for a bad time, that her entire day's schedule would be completely destroyed and pieced back together based on how many spoons she'd have in the aftermath.

If Valerie grabbed her bowl, the box of cereal, and the milk from her fridge, and acted as innocent and oblivious to the plot as she probably could, there might be a slight, _very_ tiny chance that her mother might not decide to spring the trap, and that she would be able to go through her day as she originally planned to.

She got as far as picking up her spoon.

Sashi lowered the newspaper she hadn't been reading. “So, Valerie, is there anything you want for your birthday?” She asked.

Valerie sighed heavily and put her spoon back down on the table. “Mommy, I though we'd already been through this: _I don't anything for my birthday._ It's _fine._ _Really.”_

“Okay, but hypothetically speaking, what _would_ you want?”

“Depends—hypothetically speaking, would you go through hell and high water to try and get it as soon as I leave for school?”

Sashi felt a headache coming on. “If you're worried about money, we're set for the next couple of months, plus emergency funds—we don't have to worry about dipping into anything important.”

Valerie closed her eyes, and willed away the headache that was mirroring her mother's. “Just keep it. Or buy something nice for someone else. Give it away to charity. I don't care, just don't spend it on a gift for me.

“ _Seriously,_ mommy, what is the big deal with getting me a gift, anyway?”

Sashi gritted her teeth, and quietly seethed. “You know what, just forget about it…”

Valerie resisted the urge to say “Until next year, you mean?” and dug into her cereal—it was going to get soggy at this rate, and one did not just let cereal get soggy.

Sashi wanted to scream and shout, but instead she angrily pulled her newspaper back up.

Later, Valerie left for school, donning a knit cap, scarf, and sweater all made of wool and covered with rainbow coloured puppies, kittens, and chinchillas. Unable to speak intelligibly under all that fabric, she waved goodbye instead.

Sashi waved back, and quietly stewed over her coffee. Penn walked in to the kitchen with a smile on his face.

“Hey Sash! Morning!” He said.

Sashi screamed. “IT'S NOT FAIR!” She shouted. “The _one_ day of the year where she's allowed to ask for _anything_ she wants, and she always passes on it!”

Penn paused to check if his eardrums were bleeding. “You trying to get Valerie a Birthmas present again?” He asked.

“You're damn right I am! It's her tenth birthday and her ninth Christmas this year, she is getting a present whether she _likes it or not!_ ” Sashi yelled. “It's not _fair,_ Penn! Now that we've finally got our finances together, and we can afford to go buy her a present no problem, she doesn't want one!”

Penn shrugged. “I think she'll be just fine, like she was last year. And the year before that. And the year before that. And the year before that. _Maybe_ not the year before that, though...”

Sashi groaned, and let her head hit the table with a loud thump. “Don't remind me.” She growled.

She already had the scene burned into memory:

Valerie's 5th birthday. A massive party, courtesy of all of her extended relatives and Boone's relatives pitching in. Sashi dipping into their rent money to get her an Agent Flaming-O plush toy (one Valerie still had and loved to this day), her planning to keep that a secret, and her accidentally letting it slip to her precocious daughter with about the worst word choice possible.

Five-year-old Valerie's words echoed in her head:

“I can stop having birthdays, and you don't have to get me presents, if it means we don't get kicked out. I like living here everyday more than I do a party once a year.”

And true to her word, she had a major meltdown followed by breakdown when Sashi tried to get her a present for sixth birthday, and gift-wrapped presents stopped appearing in every one of her parties since then.

Sashi turned to Penn, a rare, pained look on her face—that of defeat. “What kind of childhood is one without presents on your birthday? Where you hate getting gifts? Not one I'd want, not one you'd want, not one even Valerie would want...” She mumbled.

Penn frowned, pulled up a chair beside her. “Look, Sash, there's plenty of things we both want to change about our lives to make things easier for Valerie, but I think this is one those things we're just going to have to deal with.” He said as he put a hand on her shoulder. “It's hard enough to erase things she learned about that early, it's even harder because we both know she doesn't quit or change her mind easily.”

Sashi groaned. “ _Why_ did she have to get that from me?” She griped.

“I don't know, but I _do_ know you're being _way_ too hard on yourself about this, Sash. Perfect parents don't exist, and yeah, we really could have done way better on a lot of fronts, plus we made a huge amount of mistakes—but guess what?

“Every parent in the entire world could have done a lot better, and made and are still making a huge amount of mistakes, too.”

Sashi sat back up on her chair. “Maybe I'm just thinking about this whole present thing wrong...” She mumbled.

Penn smiled. “That's the ticket, Sash.”

“… I shouldn't be _asking_ her what she wants, I should get her the present that's gonna change her mind about birthday gifts for the rest of her life!”

Penn blinked. “Wait, what, no--”

Sashi knocked Penn's hand off her shoulder as she launched off her seat with determination in her eyes. “Thanks Penn! Go fix yourself breakfast, I'm going _shopping!”_ She cried triumphantly, before she kissed Penn on the cheek then dashed off to their computer.

Penn blankly watched her run down the hall, debated stopping her, then thought better of it.


	2. Chapter 2

It should not have been this difficult to shop for a nine-year-old girl going on ten.

Sashi should have been able to go to any mall in the entire world, walked into a store, bought the perfect gift off the shelf, and had it wrapped up before lunch time.

Instead, she had spent the entire morning wandering through Middleburg's largest shopping mall, looking at ads, browsing shelves and digging through bins, and asking the occasional shop assistant for help, all with no success till she was forced to take a break at the food court for lunch.

There was no shortage of things that screamed “Buy me!” but none of them whispered “Valerie will love me!” afterward.

It wasn't as if she didn't know what Valerie liked. It was just that none of the potential gifts would be _quite_ good enough. She was a watcher of cartoons, not a collector, so Blu-rays and DVDs would go unused and unappreciated because she already had a nearly unlimited supply of them all online, thanks to Neala. Some of the shows she watched had a plethora of fan merchandise up for sale, but getting her a mug in the shape of a time-and-space traveling London police box wasn't the kind of gift that'd change her perception on presents for the rest of her life.

And though she was sure Valerie would be beside herself if she told her she was finally letting her work as a part-time hero, that was going to be worth a lot more trouble than it was worth, and Sashi was _very_ sure she wouldn't be able to do anything right ever again, too consumed with worrying about what might be happening to Valerie, what might happen to her, and what might have happened while she was zapping into other dimensions supervised only by Phyllis.

And as the final nail on the coffin, she didn't have as much disposable income as she would have liked to have for gift buying.

As she sipped on her iced coffee and took bites out of her sandwich, she mulled over what exactly she should be looking for, because her plan of walking around the mall and seeing what jumped out at her and had worked out so well so far.

It couldn't be another toy. Though Valerie had definitely not outgrown her Agent Flaming-O, it was very clear that she was a one-stuffed-animal kind of girl, having never once been tempted by a shiny toy display or seeing a different toy in the arms of another child, and Sashi hadn't personally groomed and cleaned that toy with the care one would expect from a bomb disposal expert without _very_ good reason.

It couldn't be an amazing one-off event that'd be a treasured memory for the rest of her life, because there were few of those that Sashi could actually make happen, let alone afford or be able to arrange in time for her birthday or Christmas.

It couldn't be something like a pair of designer jeans, an album from the hottest boy band of the moment, or her first make-up kit, because Sashi had absolutely no intention of turning her daughter into your average pre-pubescent girl, and she already had enough influence and exposure from two of her friends and the rest of the world at large.

So it had to be something that Valerie would use frequently, preferably every single day to the point that it'd become a regular part of her life, it couldn't come from the usual offerings and gift ideas for girls, but it still had to be within her budget, plus amazing enough to change Valerie's perception about birthday gifts for the rest of her life.

And that was a very narrow, _very_ vague spectrum of gifts.

Sashi finished her lunch and went back to window shopping, looking for the perfect gift for Valerie with her new set of criteria in mind. Though it certainly made it easier to dismiss and avoid all the places and gifts that couldn't possibly be it, it hadn't made looking for that perfect gift any easier.

The Christmas atmosphere that had settled over the entire town didn't help.

“What are _you_ getting your loved ones for Christmas?” A giant ad at the center of the mall loudly proclaimed, before it switched to video advertisements of all the sales and potential gift ideas that it claimed would cater to “anyone, and everyone!”

Which didn't include Valerie, it seemed.

“Perfect Christmas Gifts!”, “The Best Gifts You Can Buy This Christmas”, “Sweet Deals on Great Presents” signs hung off from pretty much every single shop, stall, and booth in the mall, with many more barkers vying for her attention and trying to tempt her with the products they were hawking.

Unfortunately, she'd already seen them all, they just weren't the perfect gift, or they were both AND she'd found a better deal elsewhere.

“Give a little for Christmas, ma'am?” asked a Salvation Army worker at the bus stop, smiling hopefully and holding out their little donation bucket. Sashi dug into her pockets for loose change and gave it to them.

“You've given one of the best gifts anyone could ever receive, ma'am!” The worker said.

Sashi had to resist cringing. She mulled over ideas on the ride to the Odyssey, but still, she came up with blanks, or terrible ideas that were oftentimes dismissed as quickly as she thought of them.

She almost walked right past Penn lounging in the lobby if he hadn't reached out and grabbed her.

“Hey there, Sash!” Penn said, smiling at her. “Any luck with the gift buying?”

Sashi looked at him and sighed. “No.” She said, exhausted from all the fruitless browsing.

Penn kept on smiling. “Eh, I'm sure you'll figure it out; the perfect gift's got to be out there somewhere, right?”

Sashi smiled, if only a little. “Yeah. I guess so.” She leaned in and gave him a kiss before they walked into viewing room of the Odyssey to get ready for work and out of the unheated and drafty lobby.

Boone was sitting on of the aged seats at the front row, busy reviewing documents and drafting letters for his other job. He saw Penn and Sashi and waved, his other hand stuffing all those papers back into his briefcase.

“Hey guys! Ready for another awesome adventure in the multiverse?” He said as he stepped up to his position on the zap pad.

Penn grinned. “You know I am!”

“Yeah, it's gonna awesome...” Sashi mumbled.

Boone frowned. “Something up, Sash?”

“Yes, but I'm working on it.” She replied as she and Penn stepped up to their pads.

“Sounds rough. But hey, at least Valor's Birthmas is coming up soon, right?” He beamed.

Sashi cringed, while Penn slowly put down his hands and stopped mouthing words.

Boone paused. “Oh.”

“Work time now, interpersonal drama later!” Phyllis yelled as she pulled the lever.

Blue energy surrounded the heroes and sent the heroes through the portal and into a bleak, foggy cityscape of smokestacks, brick buildings, and not a lot of colour outside of shades of grey.


	3. Chapter 3

As far as grim, hopeless, soul-sucking dystopias went, this was by far one of the worst, even worse than that of the Dystopia Dimension because at least all of the inhabitants there had already accepted that it would always be terrible and coped with it.

The walls were, gray, brown, or if the architects were feeling stylish, black. All the other colours were dull blues and silvers, or long faded yellows and oranges that were so dirty and old they were starting to look like different shades of brown. Even the people looked as dreary and lifeless, with anemic pallour, graying or flat hair, and postures ranging from slouched, slumped, to almost permanently bent over.

They all wore roughly the same outfits—dull blue work shirts, dull brown work pants and boots, with a yellow hard hat that looked more of a brown. The only things that differentiated them were their faces, their bodies, and in the case of Sashi, the stylish pair of safety glasses she was wearing.

Penn looked around. They were all standing around a giant circular conveyor belt, a huge tower of boxes neatly stacked to one side. There was not much else to this factory in the way of machinery or other boxes, which made it extremely difficult to know just what exactly it was for. The workers didn't look too enthusiastic to be here, and they all had that familiar aura Penn and Sashi knew all too well: that of the person who _needed_ to be here, and didn't have the luxury of quitting or getting another job.

“Wow,” Penn mumbled. “Pretty interesting workplace we've got here. Alright, Sash, check the specs.”

Too busy stewing in their misery, the other workers never noticed as Sashi's safety goggle projected its hologram. “We're three disgruntled factory workers who want to bring cheer, colour, and happiness to the city of Greyburg. Trouble is, pretty much everything is run by the mayor/CEO, who's intent on making everything--”

A work bell whistled, appropriately bored and resigned.

Heads turned up, and the trio watched as Rippen walked out onto the balcony of his third floor office and smugly looked down on all of them. He picked up a receiver and his voice started booming from the speakers around the factory.

“ _Terrible_ morning to all of you, my employees! It's another dull, wet, and cold day here in Greyburg, perfect weather for yet more mind-numbing, soul-sucking work here in my factory! You all know the drill, yes?”

Every worker except the heroes sighed heavily. “Yes, sir.” They replied.

“Excellent! Remember: _I'm_ the boss, _I'm_ the mayor, and _I'm_ the one who signs your paychecks, and owns the homes you and your precious families live in, so I expect _all_ of you to work to the best of your abilities without complaint!

“That is all!” Rippen holstered his receiver, chuckling to himself as he walked back into his cozy office.

Work began in the factory: the person closest to the stack of boxes unloaded one, opened it, and pulled out all of the parts and components for some sort of machine. The conveyor belt brought it to the person beside him, who then constructed it piece by piece until it was whole. The belt moved again, taking it to the third person who then deconstructed the whole thing and packed it back into its box.

The box moved to the next group in line who did the exact same thing, over and over again, working all day, but never really getting anything done.

“… Who's intent on making everything as dull, boring, and soul-sucking as possible.” Sashi finished, turning off her specs before anyone could get suspicious. “Though I think that was pretty obvious already.”

The trio watched the tower slowly disappear, and the boxes steadily make their way towards them. “We've _got_ to save these people before the whole city dies of boredom,” Penn said. “To think, this is what they do every single day...” The horror in his eyes changed to a look of determination. “All right, guys, here's the plan...”

Before Penn could continue, a freezing cold wind blew over the entire assembly line. Workers yelped and shivered, teeth chattering as they continued to work despite being their being slowly frozen. Penn and Boone sheltered themselves from the blast, while Sashi turned to the source.

“Hi everyone!” Larry waved cheerfully as he stood beside several huge soup pots and an industrial fan. “Don't mind me, just making some borscht for today's lunch! You're supposed to serve it cold, which is really weird, because it's a soup, and you usually want to have soups _hot!”_

The trio ignored the rest of Larry's rambling. “First, we we either shut that fan off or get us some thick coats—it is _way_ too cold to think!” Penn said, teeth chattering and arms crossed over his chest.

And just like that, Sashi knew what to get Valerie as her perfect gift.

* * *

Valerie's winter clothes were a hand-me down. Penn's Uncle Chuck and Aunt Rose had originally given it to him when he was a kid as a Christmas present, and he promptly found a way to “lose” it in the boxes that were going up into the attic as storage that year. A generation later, it resurfaced, and came back to haunt him.

“Looks like you forgot something when you were moving out of the nest, Penn!” Uncle Chuck and Aunt Rose's note said as Penn pulled the prismatic monstrosity out of a box, one he thought just had all of his and Sashi's clothes and the things they needed for their new apartment.

Way past the age where it was socially acceptable to tell them that it was horrible without hurting their feelings, Penn forced a grin, brought it back to his new apartment, and promptly found some disused corner to stow it in. Unfortunately, with the difference in the sizes between a suburban two-story home and a small apartment that just fit a family of three, the rainbow coloured mass of wool always managed to remind Penn and Sashi that it existed every once in a while.

It was finally used for its intended purpose when Valerie started getting growth spurts—or rather, she remained almost the same height as she always was, except her limbs were getting longer and noodlier like Penn. New clothes not having gotten any cheaper, they decided to have Valerie wear the product of love and misguided enthusiasm as a stopgap.

“I'd rather be warm,” Valerie replied when Sashi offered to go buy her a less mortifying outfit. “Besides, it's not like I've got any sort of reputation to upkeep.”

And with all three of her friends either outside of the social ladder (Neala), occupying a niche that couldn't be affected (Sinclair), or so high up no one questioned her decision to hang out with whoever she pleased (Elise), the temporary solution quickly became a permanent one.

It helped that it seemed almost perfectly tailored to Valerie's increasingly spindly body, and that on the practical side, it was extremely warm, well-insulated, and surprisingly durable.

But now all of that was about to change. She was getting Valerie a new coat for Christmas. All she needed to do was find the right one.

Doing another round of shopping at all the department stores and sports shops was fruitless. They were too expensive, didn't have them in extra-small but extra-long, or just didn't look like the kind of jacket Valerie would want outside of practical reasons.

And then she saw it.

Well, not the coat, exactly, but the inspiration for it. She was passing by a sports emporium, whose display windows were showing off the very latest and greatest in winter clothing: slim and form-fitting, stylish, and guaranteed to provide better protection against the cold than several layers of inch thick fur and wool.

The model in the floor-to-ceiling ad was your usual sight: male, athletic, with the finely cut, chiseled jaw James Bond look, standing on the side of a snowy mountain clad in the black, tuxedo-like jacket, the matching pants, with no shortage of high-tech, shiny gadgets on his person.

Beside it were that same jacket in women's and children's sizes, and other colours, ranging from blue, to silver, to white, to orange, and to pink. There was absolutely no way she was going to be able to buy one in Valerie's size, nor was she sure that the store even had them in that small of a size, and she would have complained if she gave her one of the jackets as is.

But she knew just what she had to do to make it perfect.


	4. Chapter 4

The scene looked like it was just two good friends settling down for tea and pastries, but everyone could tell it was far more serious than that. The staff made themselves known only if absolutely necessary, moving with such subtlety and silence that they almost seemed like ghosts as they set the cups, the tea pot, and the plate of strawberry strudels down; likewise, the children and the mansion's other residents kept quiet and to themselves around that area, moving or herding others away to make sure that everything was as calm and quiet.

“Usually, this is when I engage in some small-talk and catchin' up, but I know y'all ain't the type to mince words: what brings you here, Sash?” Sugar asked as she sipped her tea.

“I need your help getting a birthday present for Valerie. It's going to be a new coat for Valerie—custom made, sleek, easy to wear, and with a very specific design I've got in mind.” Sashi replied as she pulled out her phone and showed off a picture of it beside a crude doodle of the finished project.

Sugar whistled. “Well, honey, I can certainly see why you'd want it done that way, and lucky you, it ain't that hard to find someone that can do it.”

“But…?”

“But it'll cost a pretty penny. This level of custom work ain't exactly cheap, and neither is the kind of material y'all want to make it out of, and this isn't even gettin' into how much more it's gonna set ya back if you want it to last as long as you say you want it to.

“Tell you what, it's Christmas, and y'all have already done plenty of good for me and my family that money just can't buy, so why don't I just pay for the whole thing?” Sugar smiled.

“Thanks, but no thanks, Sugar, I want to pay for this with my own money.”

“Y'all sure about that? Seriously, honey, it's no big deal.”

Sashi sighed. “Sugar, look, you've already done that dozens of times, why don't _I_ answer the bill, for once?”

“I can see where y'all are comin' from, but are you really, really sure? Remember, everythin' comes with a cost, even if it ain't that obvious.”

Sashi groaned. “Would you just tell me how much it's going to set me back already?”

Sugar told her, before casually taking a sip of her tea.

Sashi blinked, her face slowly falling in realization. “Oh.”

“I won't hold it against y'all if ya change your mind,” Sugar said as she put her cup down.

Sashi stopped to think. “… No, still paying for this with my own money. I'll find a way to do it.”

Sugar shot her a look.

Sashi gave her an offended look back. “Hey, _believe me_ , I learned my lesson the first time! I'm not making that mistake again.”

Sugar nodded. “If'n you say so. Since time ain't waitin' for no one still, I'm just gonna go ahead and get everythin' all set up; I'll just need to poke your brain on a few key details like the measurements, and the rest'll be just waitin' for it to show up at your door.”

“Sounds good. Thanks, Sugar.”

“You're welcome, Sashi.”

* * *

“Hey Sammy, how many months of advance pay do you think I can get?” Sashi asked as she took down a punching bag that had literally had the stuffing beaten out of it.

“Depends: how many months do you need, and what exactly are you buying with it?” Sammy replied as he effortlessly hefted it's replacement up.

Sashi bit her lip as she guided the ring up top to the hook. “Uh, something like, I dunno… most of next year's pay, including my Christmas bonus? I'm going to use it to get Valerie a birthday present.”

“I thought she never wants those.”

“Well, I'm going to change her mind with this one!” Sashi said as she tightened the bolts and secured the punching bag. “And it turns out it's not going to be cheap...” She finished as she stepped back.

Sammy let go, letting it swing on its own weight to see if it was on right. When it held up, he turned to Sashi with a frown on his face. “I'm not saying you shouldn't try, but Sonia's only ever going to agree to three months, max, and that's if you can butter her up so thick you can't shake her hand after.”

Sashi sighed. “I was afraid of that… any ideas on how I can get the money?”

“I can get my check book and you can tell me how much you need, exactly.” Sammy relied.

Sashi balked. “Look, I appreciate the intention, but I'm _not_ letting you pay for the whole thing.”

Sammy smiled. “I was thinking I'd let you borrow the money, then you can pay me back over next year.”

Sashi paused. “Oh. Well, in that case...”

* * *

The kitchen had all the seriousness of a military operation, everyone's faces grim, all of them dedicated to the task at hand. Sashi sat at one end of the table, Sinclair, Neala, and Elise sat in a row on the other. On the center of the table were Flamingo-O cereal bars, with glasses and chocolate milk nearby.

Valerie was not around, nor was she aware of this meeting, gone as she was for a few hours with Penn. And though they had plenty of time until she got back, they didn't dally lest all of their work be for nothing.

Sashi placed her hands on the table. “Alright: show me what you have.”

Neala pulled out her tablet and showed it off to Sashi.

“This first design would be by yours truly,” Sinclair said as she tapped the first image on the screen. “The most utilitarian design, this'll hold whatever Val might conceivably need throughout her days—lots of deep pockets for keeping things, inner compartments for more valuable possessions like her phone and her money, and with enough of them to ensure that she can have a very even weight distribution.

“O' course, it'll cost more for all that extra stitchin' and material, but it'll save her a lot in time and convenience.”

“The next one is mine.” Neala said as Sinclair swiped to the next image.

“This one is the best winter coat,” Sinclair explained. “Not much in the way of storage, but certainly the best in insulation, protection against the cold, and comfort. Val is most definitely going to stay warm and toasty from the waist up even if it's howlin' and freezin' cold outside. Only trouble is, y'all can't exactly strip all of that off in a hurry, so it might only see use in winter and be the last thing she'll ever want to wear when it starts warmin' back up again.

“So, it does its intended job pretty well, but it fails once you take versatility into account and how many days of the year will be cold enough to justify wearin' it—which might lead to Val just decidin' not to wear it at all.”

“And the last one is mine.” Elise said, beaming with pride as she personally swiped to the last design.

“By far the most stylish and simple of our choices; I assure you, Valerie will look fantastic in this, and it'll be something she can most definitely wear with anything, any day of the year. Of course she might have to layer on more clothes underneath when it gets cold outside, but then again, who doesn't do that?

“Storage for her things will just have to be relegated to the pockets of her other clothes or bags—an easy enough fix.” Elise quietly shot Sinclair a look, Sinclair kept her eyes on Sashi. “And before you ask, no, we can't combine the best traits of all of these designs and make them into one supercoat—you'll just end up with an unwieldy monstrosity.”

“The choice is yours, Mrs. Kobayashi,” Sinclair said as she pushed the tablet forward. “We're not sayin' that y'all have to chose from just the three of these, but we don't exactly have the luxury of time when it comes to desigin' and decidin' the perfect coat, now, do we?”

“Right,” Sashi said as she eyed the designs. “Thanks, you're all dismissed.”

Elise smiled. “Our pleasure, Mrs. Kobayashi—and oh, good luck with choosing the best one.” She purred.

Sashi ignored the silent, serious argument happening between the three friends and studied the designs, trying to figure out which one of them was going to make the cut.

It was one of the last steps to getting Valerie the perfect Christmas present, and the next one was by far going to be the hardest.


	5. Chapter 5

Sashi opened the door as slowly and as quietly as she could, peering into the darkness, looking and listening for any sound or disturbance. All was calm—so far. She slipped into the room, silently shutting the door behind her.

The light pouring in from the hallway didn't even come close to Valerie's bed, but she didn't want to risk anything.

The layout of the room was familiar, almost completely unchanged since the day it had been first used, except for the larger bed, the new dresser, and the desk in the corner that held Valerie's computer. Sashi didn't need to see to creep up to her bed, but unfortunately, she would need it for the next part of her plan.

There was a voice in her said that rightly said this whole plan was insane, and that there were probably better, more sensible ways to get what she needed, but they all carried that unacceptable risk of Valerie finding out what she was up to.

She stood up right by the side of her bed, measuring tape in her hand, phone strapped to her wrist with the notepad app already open. Valerie herself was curled up in several layers of blankets, but fortunately, she never tucked herself in, making it easy to peel them off, one by one, until she could see her pajama-clad body underneath, and Agent Flaming-O safely nestled in her arms as she lay curled up on her side.

Now it was all a matter of working fast enough.

Sashi pulled out her measuring tape, putting it up as close to her daughter's body as she dared, squinting at the numbers before repeating them in her head over and over until she keyed it in to her phone, and did it all over again.

Too small, and Valerie wouldn't be able to wear it in the first place, ruining the entire point of the gift; too large, and Valerie would have an unpleasant time wearing it, with the whole coat hanging off her body like a too-small rack, and worse, parts of it falling over her eyes or tripping her up.

Valerie started to shiver from the cold. Her hands reflexively reached out for her blankets, pulling them back over herself. Sashi mentally cursed and pulled away; even if she didn't wake up, time was fast running out.

Cut once, measure twice, they said, but Sashi would have to be content with the one hastily-done measurement done in almost complete darkness, with a few guesses and estimates about the places she couldn't measure. One last check of the numbers on her phone, and Sashi shut it off. She stuffed the measuring tape into her pocket, and prepared her escape.

Like she was handling a sculpture made of glass, she picked up each one of Valerie's blankets and put them back into place; she paused whenever she shifted or turned in her sleep, but she never woke up or opened her eyes.

When she finished, it was as if she had never come in in the first place. She resisted the urge to say goodnight once more or kiss her on the cheek; instead, she crept back out as silently as she came in, shutting the door noiselessly behind her.

Sashi put her back to the wall and let out a relieved sigh. She opened her phone again, and sent off the details.

Now, all she needed to do was wait…

* * *

December 23, two days before Christmas, and Valerie's birthday—or, as her Uncle Boone like to call it, her “Birthmas Day.”

There was no alarm, no need to get up out of her warm, comfy bed, or leave behind her many blankets and Agent Flaming-O. She was free to sleep in and lounge about doing absolutely nothing, until hunger finally struck her, or she somehow decided that she would get up and do something.

It could have been hours, or barely one when she finally got up out of bed, throwing her layers of blankets back and setting Agent Flaming-O on her perch on her bedside table, she wasn't counting; today, there was only one time she needed to be aware of, and that's when her party started.

She hummed to herself as she imagined what fun she was going to have, the Christmas special marathon she and her friends were going to do, and most especially the taste of her cake—strawberry flavoured, and lousy with Flaming-O's, as it always was.

Her fantasizing stopped as she noticed a gift-wrapped box on her desk that definitely wasn't there last night.

Valerie scowled. She checked her phone, and got a deluge of automated birthday messages along with texts and e-mails from her friends and family. A scroll through all of them revealed nothing about the gift, meaning she'd have to open it to find out what it is.

She sighed heavily and pulled herself out of bed; she started wording her reminder to them all that she didn't need nor want birthday presents as she strode across the room to the box. There was a card attached to the front, plain white with black, handwritten ink—Sashi's speedy, jagged, and forceful cursive.

“To: Valerie. From: All of Us.” She read out loud.

She sighed again. With so many feelings at risk of getting hurt, now she'd have to open it and find out what it is.

The ribbon was a stick on, and the wrapping had a slit in it with “Tear Here” written nearby. _'At least they aren't making me waste any more spoons that necessary…'_ Valerie thought as she tore apart the paper. Underneath was a box, rectangular in shape. Lifting it up, she found it had some heft to it, but not much.

Valerie pulled open the lid.

She blinked.

She looked back at her Agent Flaming-O toy, still on her perch, eternally wearing a confident, proud smile.

Then, she looked back at her present.

In the kitchen, Penn and Sashi winced as an ear-piercing squeal rang all throughout the apartment, the walls no much for that level of volume. Less than a minute later, Valerie rushed out of her room, thundering down the hall.

She looked like a tiny Agent Flaming-O wearing pajama pants, her coat looking like a smart suit coat and tie, its pink hood shaped like the character's face, complete with the sharp spectacles and the confident, proud smile on her beak.

Valerie threw her arms around Penn's waist as he cooked breakfast, before she ran to the table, climbed up into Sashi's waiting lap, and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

Sashi laughed as Valerie threw her arms around her neck. “Still think birthday presents are bad?” She asked as she hugged back.

“Don't ruin the moment.” Valerie replied.

* * *

_A few weeks later…_

Sashi opened the door as slowly and as quietly as she could, peering into the darkness, looking and listening for any sound or disturbance. All was calm—so far. She slipped into the room, silently shutting the door behind her.

The light pouring in from the hallway still didn't even come close to Valerie's bed, but it did fall on her target: her Agent Flaming-O hoodie, hung over the back of her chair, much more filthy and a lot less pink than the day she started wearing it almost 24/7.

Sashi didn't close the door after her; once she grabbed that hoodie, she was bolting out of there as fast as she could. She fell low to the ground and crept up to her target, one careful step at a time. She came within arms reach of the hoodie, and steadily reached out to grab it…

“Leave it alone, mommy...” Valerie grunted while half-asleep.

Sashi winced and pulled her hand back. “It'll be clean and dry by tomorrow. I promise.”

Valerie groaned. “It's not that dirty...”

“ _Yes it is,_ you're just getting used to how filthy it is. Come on, Valerie, it's the first day of school—don't you want your classmates to see your new hoodie? Wrinkle-free and _clean…?”_ Sashi smiled hopefully.

“Doesn't matter, they'll still make fun of me or ignore me whatever I'm wearing. Now leave the hoodie alone and let me sleep, mommy, I've got school tomorrow...” Valerie mumbled as she let her head hit the pillows once more.

“Fine.” Sashi stood up and walked out of the room, noisily shutting the door behind her.

A few minutes passed.

“I know you're trying to wait for me to go back to sleep before you steal it, mommy!” Valerie yelled. “It's not gonna work! I'm sleeping with one eye open tonight!”

Outside her room door, Sashi cursed and stewed as she made her way back to her bedroom. “One of these days,” she muttered to herself.

Agent Flaming-O the toy hadn't escaped a regular, thorough cleaning, and neither would the hoodie.


End file.
